Posted on December 30th, 2022

January represents a new start with new goals.

KEY POINTS

• Many people are unable to successfully achieve their year-end goals.
• Unfulfilled resolutions can negatively impact your mental health and confidence.
• Engaging in self-reflection and intention-setting is a different approach, allowing more flexibility and self-compassion.

As the year comes to an end and 2023 quickly approaches, many of us are preparing to set resolutions. January, for most of us, represents a new start or a fresh beginning, offering a blank slate. Subsequently, we tend to focus on personal goals and promises we make to ourselves to do and be better than the previous year. This tradition has dated back over 4,000 years and we have steadfastly held to this tradition. However, very few individuals are able to follow through with and successfully “achieve” their goals.

Resolutions have become overly ambitious or unrealistic goals that are almost always impossible to attain and or maintain. They are also outcome-result focused versus process-focused—there is a lot more emphasis on the goal itself as opposed to the process and experience. As a result, a failed goal tends to negatively affect our mental health. We get upset that we didn’t meet the goal—the number on the scale, a higher status, the life milestone— and end up discouraged, fueling or perpetuating feelings of shame and self-doubt.

What if we shifted our focus and took a different approach? What if we focused on self-development and empowerment versus extreme change and self-denial? Start the year with self-reflection and intention setting. This alternative, while still encouraging growth, allows for more flexibility and self-compassion, as well as requires us to be more mindful in our everyday lives.

Self-Reflect

As you look forward, consider this past year and some of the experiences. Ask yourself and reflect on the following questions.

• What is at least one thing I am proud of myself for this past year? What are some of my accomplishments, big and small?
• What are some of the challenges I have encountered? How did I overcome them and is there anything I would do differently next time?
• What have I learned about myself this year? Have I developed any newfound interests or likes/dislikes?
• What are my values? Have my values or priorities changed over the last year? Have I honored the things that matter to me?
• What have my relationships been like this past year? Do I need to work on them or improve them?

Set Your Intentions

Now that you have engaged in self-reflection, consider some of your areas for growth or things you may want to prioritize or reprioritize over the next year. Consider some of the changes in behavior you may need to make and create a plan to help facilitate these priorities. Write down your intentions as affirmative statements and then action steps you can take to be more intentional.

• Example:

I am going to prioritize my physical health and strengthen my body.

Action: I am going to find a physical activity that I enjoy and create a regular and realistic exercise routine that is going to work for me.

• Example:

I am going to focus on building and maintaining my relationships.

Action: I am going to reach out to my loved ones more often and make time to see the people that matter to me.

• Example:

I am going to invest in my mental health and make decisions that support my mental health.

Action: I am going to cancel plans when I am feeling spread thin and find tools that will help me improve my mental health.

Post these intentions somewhere visible in your home to remind you of your commitment to growth. Read them daily, preferably before you start your day, so they are at the forefront of your mind.

Text and image source: Psychology Today.